7/8/90:
20:45
“Passengers your Kind Attention Please,
Train number 1 6 5 2 6 Island Express from Bangalore via Ernakulum, Kollam,
Trivandrum towards Kanyakumari is expected to depart from platform number 7
shortly”
Netra was well settled in her berth, with all
the accessories set as per her need for a day long journey. Still she was seen
a little restless.
He came running and her restlessness took
rest. He came by the window, handed over
a CD. “Here you go Netra, Arindam’s recent album. This attitude of yours is not
good for you and for others. Why can’t you buy this once you reach our home?”
“No, this is how a fan reacts to her idol
singer, in fact I am late by one day, this CD was released yesterday”
“This is crazy Netra”
“I am even crazier, when I touch this CD, I
feel like I am touching him”
“Shut Up… Amma is very seriously seeing an
alliance for you.”
“Yeah I know, I have told her to see someone
like Arindam or even Arindam himself”.
“Are you kidding …?”
“Do you think so …?”
Train crawled. “Ok take care, Call me as soon as you reach
home and keep SMS ing at regular intervals”
“Sure, you too take care... Will keep you
posted” Train moved front as he stood and waved his hands
Netra jumped and pumped her fist in air,
until she noticed the way others looked at her. She giggled with in her and
went to her berth, with CD player loaded with her favorite new CD.
Lying down, she got lost into the songs of
her favorite Arindam.
---------
She got down. Station was looking
totally different compared to how it was last time. With a mild surprise, she
started walking towards the exit. On the way, she noticed she was the only one
who got down at that station. It was so much deserted. With fear creeping in
slightly, she tried to increase her speed. As she reached the exit, she was
shocked when someone touched her shoulder and asked, “Can you tell me whether this
exit takes us to the temple road?”
She turned with fear and the fear turned into
excitement, “ARRRRINDAMMMMM”
Aridam with mild smile, “Yes it is me. Would
you mind me spending time with you?”
“Am I dreaming…. Ouch”, the pinch was real….
She had no words to say and she was blank for
a while.
She regained herself and said, “Of
course, sure, I can ask for something better than this... I hope you can spend
one full day, i.e. today with me... I will take you to all places in this city,
this is my home town and I know every corner of this place”
“Thank you... I am not interested in visiting
places; I want to be with you, for today and all through”
Netra almost fainted; Arindam held her in his
arms and it was a fairy tale for her... She blinked her eyes as he lifted her.
They both walked out and walked together in
the roads. They were holding their hands together and he was talking and she
was just listening.
Walk with Arindam made her unaware of the
fact that the road, even though looked familiar, had lots of variation from
normalcy.
He is the
Piper and she is rat sometimes and a kid sometimes. He found them a house at a
remote place in the city. She had never seen that place. A lengthy lawn in
front of the house invited them. In both sides of the lawn, varieties of red
roses, increased the aroma and hence the romance between them. The house was
filled with everything, including her dreams and love.
One fine (can it be called so?) day, she
got up very late and noticed Arindam still sleeping. Adjusting her hair, she
slowly walked towards the balcony. Hibiscus was budding and she was excited to
see the flower’s baby. It was she who wanted to keep flower plants and Arindam
wanted to focus on fruits. They both had nothing to lose, so they filled the
garden with both of them equally. Every day routine had yet another romantic
schedule of watering all those plants.
When she was walking towards the garden,
for a change, alone, she saw a middle aged man, planting a sapling in the house
next to theirs. Seeing he, made her
realize that, in the cozy cuddle of Arindam, she forgot everything. As she
walked more closely to the fence, she thought about many things that she had
not thought so far, since they both came to that place. How long it could have been? Where are we now? How did Arindam know
that I am his ardent fan? How did he find this nice place in my home town,
which I have not seen any time before? All these questions boggled her mind
and by that time the neighbor smiled at her and walked slowly near to her.
“Hello Uncle, I am Netra”
“Hi Netra, your name sounds very beautiful as
you look. I am here from past 2 days and how about you?”
She had an uncomfortable smile, “We must be
here for past one month uncle”
Must be???? Uncle had traces of puzzled
thought which he tried to avoid expressing, but failed.
“Good... Whom are you with you here Netra,
family or with friends”
“Uncle, I am with Arindam ...” she stopped
suddenly.
Who is he
to me?? What is this relationship called? Is this acceptable -- her
bank of questions increased.
“Arindam ... when were you married, must be a
honeymoon couple – right??”
She gave a word-less expressive answer to
that question, which even she was not sure what that meant.
Both of them felt uncomfortable and as they
were trying to wind up that scenario, Netra, saw Arindam walking towards them.
She felt relaxed and said, “Uncle he is
Arindam. He is the one who found this house”, looking towards Arindam,
“Arindam, he is our new neighbor, who came here just two days back”
Uncle showed a shock at his face that
changed in to fear and then a sympathetic expression towards Netra. He closed
eyes, took a deep breath, opened his eyes, “Ok Netra, Take care. Let us talk
sometimes Come over to my house, whenever you are free.” He left
Netra was not sure how to interpret his
reaction. She turned towards Arindam and asked about the same.
Arindam had a grin face and told,
“That’s ok Netra, people, when they reach their middle age start feeling
envious about young age people. You need to be careful about such people. They
are more dangerous than terrorist. So better avoid this man”.
Netra started walking behind him. But
she did not feel that bad about neighbor uncle and she was not sure of why he
and Arindam reacted the way in which they both did. She became more anxious and
she decided to go to his house when Arindam goes out. But, so far with him, he
has never gone out. Doesn’t he go for his
recording? What is the next album he is planning for? Is he not getting any new
film chance? Again her questions dominated her thoughts.
By early afternoon, Arindam gave her a
chance, “Netra, I need to go and meet a producer in your city. He said he has a
good story line, for which he wants me to compose and sing few songs. I will
meet him and come back. Take care and be careful, don’t step out of our house”.
Netra made sure Arindam went out of sight.
She locked her house, walked towards the next house, knocked the door. Uncle
came and opened the door,
“Come in Netra. So nice of you to come to my
house. “
Netra had a glance of the house. It
looked completely organized. It had more books than furniture. He had a divan
at the hall. With a small kitchen, a bed room and a study room, the house
looked perfect for one person. Both his study room and hall was filled with
books.
“Sit down ma… I will get you some tea and
biscuits, make yourselves comfortable”.
“Its ok uncle, I just came down to talk some
times, don’t trouble yourself with tea”
By that time, she was glancing the books in
the book shelves and the few that are scattered on the floor. Most of them are
related to brain, psychology, philosophy and mythology.
Uncle appeared with his tray of two cups tea
and few biscuits. An uncomfortable
silence prevailed. Both of them were sipping the tea and munching the biscuits.
Uncle broke the silence, “How do you know Arindam,
Netra”
She just elaborated the whole event history.
She had a slight fear that cropped every now and then, as she talked, about
whether Arindam will be comfortable about her coming and talking with uncle.
Uncle told, “If you don’t mind, can you come
to my study room”
She thought he is going to show some of his
books and followed him to his room. The study room had a small room inside,
which she did not notice when she came just a few minutes earlier. That small
room had a chair as in dentist hospital.
He asked her to sit in that. She felt
uncomfortable. She said, “No Uncle, I am not comfortable. What are you upto….
Arindam told me not to talk to you, but still I came here. You are proving that
Arindam is correct. I am going to my house, please maintain your limits...
otherwise I might have to call Arindam”.
Uncle smiled and said, “Ok call him”
Netra then realized, she does not have
his mobile and she was not sure where her mobile was,” Do I have that at the house or did I lose it during the train journey?
Did I survive so far without my mobile phone?”
Uncle said, “Netra, don’t get shocked on what
I am going to say to you… “
Netra did not know whether to stay or
to run away. She felt that she was being mesmerized. Somehow she piled up the
courage and said, “Uncle, that’s ok, whatever it is ... I will go home now and come again with
Arindam. You tell whatever shocking news you have when I am with Arindam”, she
started slowly moving out of the study room towards the house gate.
Uncle raised his voice, “Come on Netra,
listen to me, there is no one called Arindam, who is staying with you... You
need to understand that”
Netra just stood frozen.
“What??”
“Yes... You need to believe me, I am a
psychology doctor and have experience in this field for more than 25 years.
What you are undergoing is called Schizophrenia”
She had no clue of what he is talking.
“When you introduced me to Arindam
today morning, there was no one near to you that is when I realized that you
are suffering from this problem. This
happens to people who are mad about some celebrity, a role model or even any
character whom they see every day. The character can be even some body that
they have not seen at all. I am sure you were mad about the famous singer
Arindam and you wanted to see him, touch him and be with him.”
“Do you mean to say I am all alone for
the past few days and have been thinking he is with me? If so why did he leave
me today?”
“Yes all through these days, you have
been alone and just alone. The moment you started coming back to reality, by
seeing me and outside world, slowly you will see your imaginary character
moving away. But now you are entering into a more difficult situation. As long
as he had been with you and you both are “just you both”, the character had
completely pervaded your thought and he was good and warm to you, now that he
is on and off, he is going to try and control you at situations that you do not
expect. The thoughts will disturb you
more often and he is going to be trouble you against to how he was pampering
you so far. “
Netra cried and agonized.
“Don’t worry. Anything that is created
can be destroyed and every problem has a solution. Let us meet more often and I
will get you a complete solution.”
Netra underwent various rigorous
treatment sessions and she could realize his association with Arindam or so
called him, is slowly fading away.
She was not sure whether she was happy
or sad about that. She had her best time of her life, when she was with him,
but, when it was getting clear to her it was not him, but her thought of him
being with her, she could not accept the same.
After a lengthy session, she slept for
a long time and before she went for sleep, uncle had told her that the
treatment is almost over and she is going to be completely normal and he is
completely out of him.
It was the first thought that came to
her as she woke up. He was gone. And, soon, this bedroom, the house in whose
eastern corner it sat, and the tiny garden outside with its gnarled old red
hibiscus and the half-grown mango tree they had planted together, all those
would be gone as well. It was the strangest feeling ever.
She felt a void spread over everywhere.
She did not know what to do. She started touching grounds now. Slowly she
started thinking, why did not my parents
call me? Why did not my brother check about my train journey and the new CD?
Fine, even though I have lost my mobile phone, why did not they come to rescue
me? But how will they know my location? Yes may be they are also still
searching for me. How bad it has been for me – I don’t even know how long I
have been like this. I need to check with neighbor uncle about my whereabouts
and try to contact my parents. He should have a cell phone or at least a land
line.
Netra ran towards her next house,
knocked the door. Uncle came and opened the door.
“Uncle!! May be my parents are
searching for me badly and trying to reach out to me at my cell phone. Can you
please give me you mobile phone or show me where you have kept your land line
phone? I need to urgently talk to them. I will feel much better once I see them
and go to my house.”
Uncle gave a frustrating smile and went
inside his room, without answering anything. As usual she did not understand
his expression, but she thought he will come back with some answer and
She was
waiting, waiting and waiting…..
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8/8/90:
08:45 – The Hindu New Paper
All
passengers found dead in India’s most devastating train accident.
The fire that caught up in the
pantry car of the Island express that was running from Bangalore towards
Kanyakumari spread to all the coaches. Fire charred all the passengers
travelled, break van and the goods coaches.
